People change, places change, I change. I'm learning to not be so afraid of it these days. Because I'm realizing that, no matter how much I fight it, things are going to change anyway. So, I can either cling to what I know and fight the change with all my might, or I can open up my fists, hold things more loosely, let the waves of change wash over me instead of knocking me down.
It's a hard lesson to learn for someone who is so naturally averse to it. But it's so much sweeter when I stop fighting change itself, and instead learn to fight for the good in change. That's what I'm trying these days: to have a difficult conversation so that a friendship grows stronger rather than crumpling, to choose grace rather than bitterness in the midst of heartbreak, to be intentional with friendships far away so the distance doesn't mean an end. It's saying: I don't have control over this situation or its outcome, but I will fight my hardest for the change to result in good things--a stronger sense of self, stronger relationships, a deeper understanding of life. It's letting my heart swell with hope for the future rather than breaking apart in the disappointment of things not staying the same or turning out as I had hoped.
I'm learning that change doesn't have to be difficult and heartbreaking. It can be full of sweetness--new jobs, new apartments, new friends. But even when it is challenging, all hope is not lost. Streams of life can sprout up from the desert. Beautiful things can grow from the broken. Change is inevitable, but it's not the end of things. What sweet comfort!